My official due date was April 15th. I had a very rough pregnancy with her, she was breech and I had low amniotic fluid. In the last trimester I had a doctor's appt every Friday for a sonogram and stress tests for the little miss (little ? at the time). I was incredibly anxious because I was desperate to find out if it was a boy or girl, but every single week at the sonogram the lil bambino was in such a tight ball they couldn't tell. I think total I had around 10-12 sonograms, it was like pure torture! The last 3-ish weeks I was ordered to bed rest. It was a long and boring 3 weeks. One can only watch so much day time television.
My surgery (c-section) due to her position and my low fluids was scheduled for April 10th, to avoid the possibility of me going in to labor first. Emergency c-sections are much harder on me and the papuschka to recover from than a scheduled one. I know that there are an over abundance of c-sections today that could have been avoided, but to be honest I was glad I needed one. I was terrified as it was of everything, and my total control freak nature was straight up relieved to have a plan in place and a specific date to anticipate. Little did we know Lil Miss had a plan of her own.
I had a lot of trouble sleeping towards the end, and was very uncomfortable pretty much all the time. So it was no surprise to me that in the middle of the night I was wide awake. I got up to pee (for the millionth time) but this time it was different, my water broke. Only I didn't know that's what it was. It was about 1:00am and I woke up the Mr. panicking. Something's wrong something's wrong is all I could get out. I was not prepared in the slightest for my water to break. Luckily the Mr. is a little better in these types of situations than I am, and after turning on the lights figured out there was no blood, our bambino just decided to make her debut early.
After I ultimately calmed down - I think I just went in to shock. The Mr. asked if he had time to brush his teeth/make some coffee to wake up before making the 45 minute drive to the hospital. I think at this point my adrenaline took over, because I remember being very calm. It's ok, it's ok, Women have babies everyday! (name that movie). I was like normally the first baby takes 12 hours right? Go ahead take a shower! I'm good. So I patiently - seriously looking back there was divine intervention because that is SO not my personality - waited for him to get ready, threw together a bag (again totally unprepared) and headed to the hospital.
I don't remember any sort of contractions. All I remember is being VERY uncomfortable and not being able to sit down in the car. Finally we arrived at the hospital, and they found me a wheelchair (at this point it was difficult to walk) and brought me to the maternity wing. When they finally brought the on call doc in to check me, I was at a 9. A NINE. DO YOU KNOW WHAT MEANS? It means you're like 5 seconds away from having a baby. (or something like that). At this point everyone went in to rush mode. I kept telling them I needed to push. Due to my low fluids they wouldn't even attempt to manually flip her so I could deliver naturally. They kept telling me it was too bad she was breach, because this would be a quick delivery! Which is of course EXACTLY what every woman in my position wants to hear at that exact moment. The anesthesiologist took his sweet ass time, and since it looked like everyone else was panicking, I started to panick. Which was not good. For anyone.
I started screaming telling the Mr. to go find another damn drug doctor because this baby wasn't waiting on anyone. They put in my catheter which I was so distracted I couldn't even tell. They also put in my IV which again I could feel nothing - thank you adrenaline! Finally, FINALLY the anesthesiologist showed up. He explained what was going to happen and that the Mr. could not be in there with me when they gave me my spinal. I started to cry. I was exhausted, terrified, and about to be sliced open. When it was time for my spinal, I was so uncomfortable from the contractions (at least that's what they tell me they were), that I didn't even feel the needle. And people this isn't your average needle. It's like the size of a ruler. For reals. Once the Mr. was allowed back in, they asked if I wanted them to place a mirror on the ceiling so I could watch.
UM HELL NO. Ain't nobody want to see that. I would have straight up passed out. The actual surgery was so surreal. I could feel them moving me and pulling the baby out - but was totally numb. After I heard that first glorious cry and that it was a girl I started to cry. And even though the whole thing was over maybe 2.5 hours after my water broke, it seemed like eternity and 2 minutes all at the same time.
From here things get a little blurry. I don't even remember the discussion of naming her. I always liked Grayson for a boy, and Greenlee for a girl. At some point the Mr. suggested Gracen for a girl, and the rest is history.
Not a single person believed us when we started calling our families. She was born around 4am, and we waited until I think 7ish to start calling. It took a lot of self restraint to wait that long. And honestly we didn't even remember that it was technically April Fool's Day. They only started to believe us once we said it was a girl and her name was Gracen Marie. Weighing in at 9lbs. 2 oz. that turkey was donezo. I don't blame her!
It was one of the scariest/happiest days of my life all rolled into one. I don't think you can totally be able to grasp the concept of unconditional love until you see that little baby that you just brought into the world staring up at you, completely reliant on you. I have no idea how 5 years have gone by since that day.
Gracen Marie you turned my world upside down! I don't even remember what life was like without you in it. The world is your oyster my sweet princess, and I cannot wait to see what life has in store for you, or what you have in store for it!
